Did you sleep well last night princess
“Oh yes! Your Royal Highness, it was heavenly, the bedroom”.
“Next”, the Prince hollered.
He was now quite fed up with the endless procession of princesses who turned up to become his wife and future queen. He had one simple test. They had to sleep in a specially designed bedroom in his palace, on the luxurious and plush special mattress stuffed with the finest eiderdown. The Prince had secretly placed a pea under the mattress. And every time a new princess slept, he knew they weren’t genuine, for they slept well, and said so in the morning.

How did last night go Princess? He asked the latest one to sleep in the palace.
Pooh! I didn’t sleep a wink
Didn’t sleep? The Prince asked incredulously, his heart trembling with anticipation.
How can a princess sleep on a bed like the one you have. It was so bumpy, I tossed and turned all night. My maid, who slept on the bed in her chambers said she slept well, but I, I just couldn’t, something is wrong somewhere…

The Prince was overjoyed. He had at last found the perfect Princess, a fit queen for his kingdom. Only a real royal with cent per cent blue blood could be disturbed by a pea under fifteen inches of soft feathers that made up the bed mattress.
So he knelt down, and proposed. And she accepted.

The wedding was set for the morrow, all the kings and queens and royalty from every part of the country was invited. The festivity, festoons, fun and frolic. A royal wedding. The knights, the steeds, the footmen and golden carriages. Pomp and splendor. The “I do” was uttered with muted breath, under a giant-sized chandeliered church dome. You are now man and wife, the minister pronounced, and he kissed the bride as a token of his vow and commitment to the sanctity of marital canons.

Back at the palace after the day was done, the Prince, on his way to the royal chambers bumped into the Princess’s maid and consort. He stopped to ask her if she was happy.
“Couldn’t be happier M’lord” she said, “This is like a fairy tale. I just can’t wait to go back to my country to tell my folks there how wonderful you and your people are, and how lucky my princess is!”
“Its time I told you my little secret”, the princess said.

He had to tell this maid of the pea plan he had put into motion, and how so many royal lasses had been exposed as fakes. The Prince then told her of the pea under bed cushion trick.

“And I am lucky indeed, it does require someone of hi class and right breeding to discern the discomfort caused by a one single pea under the mattress”
“Oho” says the maid, “What pea?”
“The one I hid under the eiderdown”
“Oh no, my princess couldn’t sleep, no matter how many inches of goose down you had there - not because of the pea, M’lord, but because of….
“But, because of? What?”

“Uh, er, er, mm” she fumbled for words. ‘You see, her father, the King, was well aware of the flirtations of his daughter and her daily dalliances with the gallants of his palace, you know Pirnce how it is among the roayalty - and so before he sent her here, he summoned the horrid blacksmith and had her fastened and padlocked with the meanest make chastity belt, and as you know M’ Lord, who can ever can?,let alone a princess, ever sleep comfortably with that terrible cold steel contraption cutting into your flesh ?”
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